The Cyril Duncan Self Squidgem Story :
by Cyril Duncan
India, 2006

Squidgem: Meaning: It's when your trying to think of a word that you know but you don't have time to think about it......?

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The Cyril Duncan self squidgem story......for Benen Hayden.......Richard and Karen......By Mr Cyril Duncan.
Placing your Royal Enfield on a New Delhi train destined for Mumbai can be achieved after you manage to navigate yourself through a hundred Indians telling you to go to a hundred different platforms/parcel offices/car parks/loading bays/ticket counters/ tea stalls/ all of which have the infamous reply.........."but sure everybody knows you can't do that here"..........and then proceed to lead you on to the next wrong destination.

Cyril's Motorbike

I started off with the usual polite  "hello my friend can you tell me where platform no 5 like to get it ready for the train to Mumbai" after 2/hrs of heat and pain it progressed to "WHY THE FUCK ARE YEA'S TELLING ME TO GO THE THE WRONG FECKIN PLACE..........YOUR DRIVIN ME FECKIN MAD ......... AHHHHHHHHHH" (no exaggeration). Eventually I get the bike drained/parcelled and placed on the platform while I wait for my train to arrive. Moments later the train arrives, off we go, the luggage carrier is opened, bike is lifted and placed on board the train, no problems, phewwwwwww, I manage to relax and just for a precaution I think I'll wrap a chain around the frame of the bike and lock it to the side of the carrier. As I lock the pad lock and turn all the pin codes to disguise the code my heart stopped and I lost my breath.......the pad lock had changed the code while it was opened and yes, I locked it and yes I don't know the code, I tried to open it but no result...........I've just locked my bike to the train.........I can't open the lock ......... I've just self squidgemed myself?

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